Dearest Luis,
The story I'm about to tell you is of great importance.
My life has been full of pain and suffering. I grew up in Nazi Germany, (I'm actually 95 years old) which meant I was constantly attacked and beaten for my beliefs.
One fateful day, I was engaged in my daily routine; running from the vicious mind-controlled Nazi gorillas, when suddenly, I spotted a dark alleyway, the perfect hiding place!
Unfortunately, a putrid smelling, wrinkled old man was already hiding in there.
I pleaded with him, "Please, creepy old guy, let me hide here with you."
He looked at me, and smiled, and in the softest, most angelic voice I've ever heard, he said,
"You don't need to hide anymore, my child."
He reached into his pocket, and pulled out an item.
It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
Hesitantly, I began to ask, "Are... are those-"
"Yes." He nodded. "Brass knuckles, carved from soap by the Gods themselves."
"You're giving these to me?" I asked with mild confusion.
"Of course, you are the chosen one, McFooFa." He said, still with a smile on his face.
"How do you know my name?" I asked, shockingly.
He didn't speak another word. He handed me the glorious soapy knuckles, and closed his eyes.
He died instantly.
It's as if he had waited his entire life just to give me this holy weapon.
I was about to turn around, when suddenly I spotted something in his other hand..
It was a giant pink lollypop.
So you see, Luis, this is destiny.
You have been reincarnated as a talented Mexican animator, to once again provide me with the heavenly brass knuckles, so I can strike fear into the hearts of mind-controlled Nazi gorillas.
Best wishes.
- McFooFa.
ngfan14
I want to beat someone up right now. :)